Hello to everyone who's reading this.
Obviously, the rapture didn't happen yesterday, and this "liveblog of the rapture" is a work of fiction. I started this project with two ideas in mind: one, to have fun exploring the idea of what the Rapture would look like, and two, to help promote my wife's art sale. (See above.) I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it.
That said, there is a very real tragedy that happened last weekend. No, the world didn't end...but for thousands of people who believed that the world would end yesterday, the fact that they are still here has to come as a profound shock. A lot of these people had no "plan B," and planned their lives so that they would meet their end penniless and homeless. Why shouldn't they have? After all, there's no need for money or shelter on the Last Day On Earth. The papers are saying that these folks will need social services, including counseling, in order to overcome what for them is a personal disaster. One might ask why they weren't in counseling to begin with, but that's not germane to this discussion. I don't bear any of these persons ill will. In fact, I pity them, which is unfortunately, as far as I am concerned, the worst thing I can feel for anyone; but I still hope that they can get on with their lives despite the damage they've done to themselves.
My intention with this was not to mock Christians in general. I am not a Christian and haven't been since before I was a teenager; but my intention was to write The Author as a true believer who is doing what for him is the most logical thing, that is, to continue to warn others and bring them into the fold by the best means he had available. Simply put, to make him a believable character, despite the ridiculous situation he was in.
I am not a Christian; but I do believe in The Apocalypse. Apocalypse is a Greek word, which means, literally, revealing; to bring out from hiding. It is that which happens when we open our eyes and discover that the world is not as we were led to believe, as with happens with any true initiation. It is an experience as shocking and horrifying as the rapture was purported to be for those left behind. It can make you grow or it can destroy you. If there is any reason to feel sorry for the people who deluded themselves and others into believing this fantasy, then consider that what most, and probably all, of them have just gone through, is nothing less than a single-serving Apocalypse.
As for the rest of us, maybe this episode can be an object lesson in the importance of critical thinking.
This is maxomai, signing off.
Sponsored in part by Liv Rainey-Smith
This blog of the ongoing apocalypse is sponsored in part by The Art of Liv Rainey-Smith, featuring The Four Portlanders of the Apocalyse.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Almost GMT-12
The quakes are so strong and frequent that I can no longer stand. I am in a seated position for the duration. There are creatures flying around the island, like two wheels connected together to form a sphere, each wheel covered in eyes. I think they're watching me.
Almost GMT-12
Jillian just flew up into the air, body, clothes, and all. She had the most beautiful look on her face, one of pure bliss.
All that's left here is myself and the plane.
The earthquakes are getting stronger. I have to drop to the ground when they hit, otherwise they will knock me off my feet. They've been getting more intense each time.
All that's left here is myself and the plane.
The earthquakes are getting stronger. I have to drop to the ground when they hit, otherwise they will knock me off my feet. They've been getting more intense each time.
Almost GMT-12
If anyone is still reading this, we're just starting to feel tremors here on Baker Island. It feels like a small earthquake, but the evidence is that it will be a huge, traumatic quake soon. The water has withdrawn from the shore, the first sign of the coming tsunami.
Jillian just cried out to me. "Howard! Howard! Do you hear it? It's angels, Howard! I can hear the angels sing!"
Jillian just cried out to me. "Howard! Howard! Do you hear it? It's angels, Howard! I can hear the angels sing!"
GMT-11
The last island in New Zealand with survivors on it, Niue, was just hit. Before it was hit I was able to get reports that the rest of the islands had also turned into gigantic Kiwi fruit. God has a sense of humor, I guess. More reports of Thrones hovering around both the western and eastern sides of New Zealand. From what I'm hearing, they're hunting for survivors.
I've had plenty of chances to talk to Jillian, the pilot who took us here and very likely the last Christian on Earth to be taken up; but the truth is, we haven't said much to each other. I did try asking her, on our way down to Baker Island, what led her to believe in the Rapture in the first place. Was it a sense of alienation from the rest of the world? A need for something special in her life? An intense dislike of nonbelievers? Maybe some form of mental illness or mass hypnosis? She never replied. Now all that she is doing is standing on the runway, feeling the wind blow past her, and jumping for joy. She's a grown woman, in her late fifties or early sixties I think, but she's acting like a giddy kid.
I would be dishonest if I didn't tell you that I was afraid.
I've had plenty of chances to talk to Jillian, the pilot who took us here and very likely the last Christian on Earth to be taken up; but the truth is, we haven't said much to each other. I did try asking her, on our way down to Baker Island, what led her to believe in the Rapture in the first place. Was it a sense of alienation from the rest of the world? A need for something special in her life? An intense dislike of nonbelievers? Maybe some form of mental illness or mass hypnosis? She never replied. Now all that she is doing is standing on the runway, feeling the wind blow past her, and jumping for joy. She's a grown woman, in her late fifties or early sixties I think, but she's acting like a giddy kid.
I would be dishonest if I didn't tell you that I was afraid.
GMT-10: Hawaii devastated, most of Samoa taken up
Was able to hail several people in Hawai'i. Total devastation. Those who weren't taken up or drowned are likely to be buried in volcanic ash soon. Even so, the Hawaiians have a sense of humor about this...many of them went surfing on the tsunami waves, and in fact, the seas are cluttered with the abandoned surfboards of the raptured and the dead. It must have been a heck of a way to go.
There is one person in Samoa that I was able to hail. She is also a scientist out of University of California, a specialist in amphibians. She reports that almost everyone in Samoa was taken up. Almost the entire population is Christian with a few Baha'i; no idea what happened to the Baha'i. The cities on both islands are apparently destroyed and there's lots of volcanic activity, but the islands themselves are okay. Maybe some humans will survive this ordeal.
There is one person in Samoa that I was able to hail. She is also a scientist out of University of California, a specialist in amphibians. She reports that almost everyone in Samoa was taken up. Almost the entire population is Christian with a few Baha'i; no idea what happened to the Baha'i. The cities on both islands are apparently destroyed and there's lots of volcanic activity, but the islands themselves are okay. Maybe some humans will survive this ordeal.
GMT-9, Aleutians data
DoomQuake has just hit the Aleutians. Most of them were swept over by water in the hours before the DoomQuake hit them directly, but a few seismic stations are left to record data. DoomQuake activity, originally estimated in the 9-10 Richter range, tops 10. This is enough to change the geography of the area hit; I wouldn't be surprised if the islands themselves moved 100 yards or more.
Not able to hail anyone on the islands anymore. Whoever wasn't brought up is likely expired.
Not able to hail anyone on the islands anymore. Whoever wasn't brought up is likely expired.
GMT-8 - Alaska and Northwest Territories
DoomQuake just hit Alaska and the Canadian Northwest Territories. Reports that the remaining polar ice has completely shattered. The only radio contacts I can still hail are both Inuvit, one in his home town in Canada, the other an oil worker in Alaska. The first reports that the only people left after the DoomQuake are other aboriginal Canadians and a handful of Muslims who moved there a few years ago. He sounded quite happy about this. The second reports that most of the white Alaskans and a good deal of the Native Alaskans (who were believers, apparently) are gone, but that most of the Palins are left behind. Neither the Palins nor the other Alaskans sound happy about this.
GMT-7, Howard Reporting
Hi everyone, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Howard Jameson, aka Howard the Unbeliever. I is, or I suppose was, a graduate student in mathematics at University of Wsahington, and The Author was my advisor. I agreed to assist The Author, whose real name was Professor James Arthur Crank, to document The Rapture. Frankly, I never thought I'd have to make good on that promise, but a promise is a promise. I've lost radio contact with Arthur, so now as per our agreement I will do my part. I do not expect to survive the DoomQuake, and if I do then I will almost certainly starve to death here on Baker Island, a remote spot of land at GMT-12 with little more than an airstrip. I now suspect that this is a fate better than most of the people left will meet. I am glad to have this fate, however, because with it comes a very important role: to record for the future, if there is one, the last few hours of the DoomQuake.
A part of our arrangement, Dr. Crank arranged for me to fly from Seattle to Hawaii via a major airline, and from there to Baker Island by a chartered flight if and when this event started. Perhaps "chartered" isn't the right word. The pilot for our trip to Baker Island is Jillian, an older woman with few relatives; she and all of her friends have long been believers in the rapture and made peace with it long ago. She agreed to fly with me to Baker Island as a final act, there to be the last human on Earth to be brought up by God.
Here is what I can tell you based on what we've already seen. The DoomQuake is a force caused by a shift underneath the Earth. We are not able to ascertain the nature of this shift, but it almost certainly isn't geological, as my understanding is that tectonic plates don't store enough energy to sustain an earthquake for this long, and that the resulting quake wouldn't move around the world in this fashion. Whatever is happening is some other phenomenon, similar to underground atomic tests, but on a much larger and more coordinated scale. The forces being unleashed are on the order of 9 or 10 on the Richter scale.
In addition, some force is causing human beings to fly into the air and disappear. There are other phenomena that have been observed, of gods and genies and angels and other mystical beings making appearances, but I haven't observed this myself, personally. There are, as you may have surmised, many things about this rapture that I do not understand and to which I have not attached meaning. I am at peace with that. It is not, as I see it, my place to try to make sense of all these things. It is my place to observe as diligently as I can and let others make sense of it later, if there is a later.
So, there we are. I am stationed at Baker Island right now, and it is about 1PM local time. I expect to monitor radio traffic and record my observations as best as I can. If the Internet holds up, I might even be able to blog it for those remaining people who can read this.
A part of our arrangement, Dr. Crank arranged for me to fly from Seattle to Hawaii via a major airline, and from there to Baker Island by a chartered flight if and when this event started. Perhaps "chartered" isn't the right word. The pilot for our trip to Baker Island is Jillian, an older woman with few relatives; she and all of her friends have long been believers in the rapture and made peace with it long ago. She agreed to fly with me to Baker Island as a final act, there to be the last human on Earth to be brought up by God.
Here is what I can tell you based on what we've already seen. The DoomQuake is a force caused by a shift underneath the Earth. We are not able to ascertain the nature of this shift, but it almost certainly isn't geological, as my understanding is that tectonic plates don't store enough energy to sustain an earthquake for this long, and that the resulting quake wouldn't move around the world in this fashion. Whatever is happening is some other phenomenon, similar to underground atomic tests, but on a much larger and more coordinated scale. The forces being unleashed are on the order of 9 or 10 on the Richter scale.
In addition, some force is causing human beings to fly into the air and disappear. There are other phenomena that have been observed, of gods and genies and angels and other mystical beings making appearances, but I haven't observed this myself, personally. There are, as you may have surmised, many things about this rapture that I do not understand and to which I have not attached meaning. I am at peace with that. It is not, as I see it, my place to try to make sense of all these things. It is my place to observe as diligently as I can and let others make sense of it later, if there is a later.
So, there we are. I am stationed at Baker Island right now, and it is about 1PM local time. I expect to monitor radio traffic and record my observations as best as I can. If the Internet holds up, I might even be able to blog it for those remaining people who can read this.
Almost GMT-7 - Goodbye!
Well folks, it's almost time for me to sign off. I do so with the satisfaction of knowing that I have saved many persons and that I will soon join them at God's side. My friend Howard will take over where I left off, assuming that he can maintain a working Internet connection.
We're just feeling the first rumbles of the DoomQuake here...I can hear a chorus of angels! I hear God calling me! It's glorious...glorious!!!!!
Goodbye!
God bless,
The Author
We're just feeling the first rumbles of the DoomQuake here...I can hear a chorus of angels! I hear God calling me! It's glorious...glorious!!!!!
Goodbye!
God bless,
The Author
A little before GMT-6, cannibals in Australia
If you can still read this, I am hearing some reports from DoomQuake survivors in Australia. Gangs are already organizing in Sydney on the theory that they will have to resort to cannibalism for food within a few days.
Get right with God and you won't have to go through that. It's not too late.
Get right with God and you won't have to go through that. It's not too late.
Not quite GMT-5 - Status report
The power has gone out here. My guess is that the engineers who would usually supervise the generators and the transmitters have left their posts to be with their loved ones, and I can't blame them. For the saved it is a last moment together in this world. For the unsaved, the last moment of peace they will know before tribulation and five months of horror, before the end. I still have power thanks to a Diesel generator, and miraculously, I also have cellular phone service, complete with Internet. I will continue reporting for as long as I can.
The looting and rioting has died down here in the Pacific Northwest. I think that people for the most part have gotten that out of their systems, and that they are now trying to come to real terms with what The End means. For my part, I have already come to terms with that .. this isn't the End for me, after all, but only the beginning of eternity.
Nonetheless, I will enjoy a last cup of coffee and a last Twinkie.
The looting and rioting has died down here in the Pacific Northwest. I think that people for the most part have gotten that out of their systems, and that they are now trying to come to real terms with what The End means. For my part, I have already come to terms with that .. this isn't the End for me, after all, but only the beginning of eternity.
Nonetheless, I will enjoy a last cup of coffee and a last Twinkie.
GMT-4 - DoomQuake strikes Eastern USA
I watched with sadness while CNN showed the tsunami flooding New York City and Washington DC, and the DoomQuake then lay every building low. It's the same sadness I felt on September 11th, 2001, but more profound, because I understood with certainty that this time it wasn't an evil terrorist striking out in anger, but a just God passing judgement on this great nation. I have to remind myself that Pride is a sin just as surely as any other, and that includes Pride in country.
The electricity flickered here in the Pacific Northwest when the DoomQuake hit the East Coast. I forgot that the power grid in this country is interconnected; in all likelihood the power is out in the entire Eastern half of the United States. The poor souls in the Central Time Zone are probably blacked out now. I hope they will come to Christ soon, because the darkness and chaos may very well take them before the DoomQuake does.
The electricity flickered here in the Pacific Northwest when the DoomQuake hit the East Coast. I forgot that the power grid in this country is interconnected; in all likelihood the power is out in the entire Eastern half of the United States. The poor souls in the Central Time Zone are probably blacked out now. I hope they will come to Christ soon, because the darkness and chaos may very well take them before the DoomQuake does.
35 minutes to GMT-4 - a note to the faithful
I mostly write this blog for the unbelievers so that they can get right, but I know from the emails that I'm getting that a lot of fellow believers, new and old, are reading this. I just want to pass along to you what I hear from other believers just before they are taken up. I'm telling you this so that you won't panic unnecessarily, and so that you can understand what is happening to you.
In the last eighteen or so hours I have heard from a dozen or more faithful over HAM radio, as they were in the process of being taken up. What they tell me is that the process, if you want to call it that, follows roughly these lines:
After this point they cease to communicate with me; I assume that this is when they are taken up. These steps aren't always in this order, but it always happens that the choir, voice, light and feeling of peace happen just as the DoomQuake is beginning. So if you feel the first rumbles, don't be alarmed.
In the last eighteen or so hours I have heard from a dozen or more faithful over HAM radio, as they were in the process of being taken up. What they tell me is that the process, if you want to call it that, follows roughly these lines:
- The first rumbles of the DoomQuake are felt.
- They hear a song, heavenly, like a choir of angels
- A voice calls to them, "come!"
- They are overwhelmed with a feeling of peace.
- They see a bright, soft light, above them
After this point they cease to communicate with me; I assume that this is when they are taken up. These steps aren't always in this order, but it always happens that the choir, voice, light and feeling of peace happen just as the DoomQuake is beginning. So if you feel the first rumbles, don't be alarmed.
GMT-3 - Canada begins to see the rapture
Right now the DoomQuake and the Angels of Tribulation are destroying what is left of unsaved Brazil and Greenland and the Easternmost parts of Canada. If you are not right with God, you have less than an hour to make peace...assuming you live that long. Get right with God now!
GMT-2: Angels over Greenland, tsunami on it's way to the East Coast
CNN is commenting that they just saw something that looked like a flying saucer over Eastern Greenland just before the DoomQuake hit and the volcanoes began to erupt in earnest. Don't be fooled, people. That isn't a UFO. The Rapture is not an Alien Invasion. What you saw on CNN was not a flying saucer, but an angel, specifically a throne, in the shape of a "wheel within a wheel," which fits with Ezekiel 1:16. These are the angels that the Lord sends out to carry out His justice. You've seen it for yourself on television, just like you've seen everything else to happen these last 17 hours. There is no use in denying it.
Also, you might not have heard NOAA issue a warning that a 10-foot tsunami is heading for the East Coast and will likely reach it just a little before the DoomQuake hits. I admit that I didn't factor this into my calculations, so the truth is, you on the East Coast have less time to accept Christ than you think. In fact, it's probably just under an hour and a half. But that assumes that you will make it until then. The time to get right with God is now!
Also, you might not have heard NOAA issue a warning that a 10-foot tsunami is heading for the East Coast and will likely reach it just a little before the DoomQuake hits. I admit that I didn't factor this into my calculations, so the truth is, you on the East Coast have less time to accept Christ than you think. In fact, it's probably just under an hour and a half. But that assumes that you will make it until then. The time to get right with God is now!
GMT+0 -- England is gone :(
The BBC cut out a little while ago. Before they stopped broadcasting we could see the Thames overflowing its banks as the rising, tumultuous Atlantic Ocean flowed into it...millions of souls flying into the sky over London...then Big Ben and the Parliament building shaking and collapsing...then a terrible sound...the sky opening...then, the signal died. England, I think, is gone. I don't know how many souls were saved, but given the liberal corruption in the Church of England, I can't believe that it was the majority. Sorry, folks, but it's the truth.
I know a lot of English folks liked to think that science or good works or The Doctor will save them, but it was never true. Now you know that, but the Bible has been saying that for two thousand years. Now it's telling you to accept Jesus as your savior and be forgiven. Will you listen? If you are reading this, you are running out of time. The DoomQuake hits New York in four hours, Chicago in five, Denver in six, Los Angeles in seven. That is how much time you have to accept Christ.
My friend Howard the Unbeliever is on his way to Baker Island, an uninhabited spec of dry land several hours flight west from Hawai'i, in GMT-12. He will continue the project after I'm gone. In the meanwhile, I will continue my work as long as I can, for your benefits.
I know a lot of English folks liked to think that science or good works or The Doctor will save them, but it was never true. Now you know that, but the Bible has been saying that for two thousand years. Now it's telling you to accept Jesus as your savior and be forgiven. Will you listen? If you are reading this, you are running out of time. The DoomQuake hits New York in four hours, Chicago in five, Denver in six, Los Angeles in seven. That is how much time you have to accept Christ.
My friend Howard the Unbeliever is on his way to Baker Island, an uninhabited spec of dry land several hours flight west from Hawai'i, in GMT-12. He will continue the project after I'm gone. In the meanwhile, I will continue my work as long as I can, for your benefits.
GMT+1 .. there goes Europe
I know most of you are Americans and are watching CNN, so you probably missed what they just showed on BBC: footage of the DoomQuake hitting Western Europe, specifically Paris and Copenhagen. Paris is, of course, leveled. Copenhagen suffered the same fate, but just as many of them were taken up as Believers, many more are now fighting alongside giants in chariots driven by mutant animals (that look like goats and disfigured horses) against other giants. The whole thing looks very Nordic...much like a Nazi rally. No wonder they're damned.
I have no idea what is causing this, but God is terrible in His judgements, and we can all be assured that the next five months carry nothing but death and misery for all of them. But He is also a forgiving God, and merciful, as long as we accept Him.
I have no idea what is causing this, but God is terrible in His judgements, and we can all be assured that the next five months carry nothing but death and misery for all of them. But He is also a forgiving God, and merciful, as long as we accept Him.
Greece, Turkey, Eastern Europe...GMT+2
CNN just showed the Athenian Acropolis falling to dust as the first waves of the Mediterranean tsunami wiped out half the city...God is terrible in His judgements. I can only pray that His message reached the people of Eastern Europe before the tribulation hit.
I'm listening to the HAM radio and it's apparent that many nuclear reactors throughout Russia and Asia have been destroyed, their radioactive contents fully exposed, melting down, and in many cases throwing up clouds of radioactive steam from the water table. Those left behind will have to deal with the consequences of that, too. If you are reading this and are in a zone that has not been hit by the DoomQuake yet, this is yet another manifestation of God's wrath that you will have to face if you do not accept Jesus now. I truly hope that you will accept Christ and be saved in these next few hours.
I'm listening to the HAM radio and it's apparent that many nuclear reactors throughout Russia and Asia have been destroyed, their radioactive contents fully exposed, melting down, and in many cases throwing up clouds of radioactive steam from the water table. Those left behind will have to deal with the consequences of that, too. If you are reading this and are in a zone that has not been hit by the DoomQuake yet, this is yet another manifestation of God's wrath that you will have to face if you do not accept Jesus now. I truly hope that you will accept Christ and be saved in these next few hours.
Good morning..lots to cover (GMT+3)
Wow. Lots going on..too much to cover in detail. The DoomQuake and the consequent tsunamis and volcanic eruptions continue. Millions raptured. A few hours ago a gigantic half-naked pitch-black giant woman with a thousand limbs and a necklace of skulls appeared in Calcutta and started carving through people like she was mowing the lawn. Al Jazeera is now reporting that the DoomQuake has struck the Middle East and East Africa and that hundreds of Jinn (we think of them as Genies, but they're actually Arab demons) are roaming the Arabian Peninsula and creating havoc.
I'm also getting a ton of reports out of Israel. Apparently there weren't too many people Taken Up from there -- mostly tourists and a few Arab Christians (I didn't know those even existed until now) -- but Israel's defense wall is totally destroyed and there is fighting between the IDF and the Palestinians, most of all in and around Megiddo. God works in mysterious ways!
Here in America, the panicked and confused populace are coming to terms with the fact that it is over, really over. Churches are packed; many are fleeing to the countryside; many more are rioting and looting. Even the ads on TV are getting desperate; one of the local car dealerships just aired an ad for an End Of The World Sale.
As for myself, I am secure in the knowledge that I will be with God in about nine and a half hours. Meanwhile, I still have running water, electricity, and enough coffee for one last pot. I intend to enjoy it.
I'm also getting a ton of reports out of Israel. Apparently there weren't too many people Taken Up from there -- mostly tourists and a few Arab Christians (I didn't know those even existed until now) -- but Israel's defense wall is totally destroyed and there is fighting between the IDF and the Palestinians, most of all in and around Megiddo. God works in mysterious ways!
Here in America, the panicked and confused populace are coming to terms with the fact that it is over, really over. Churches are packed; many are fleeing to the countryside; many more are rioting and looting. Even the ads on TV are getting desperate; one of the local car dealerships just aired an ad for an End Of The World Sale.
As for myself, I am secure in the knowledge that I will be with God in about nine and a half hours. Meanwhile, I still have running water, electricity, and enough coffee for one last pot. I intend to enjoy it.
GMT+7 and Asia is toast. Also, I need some sleep.
If my calculations are correct (and so far, they have been!), then the DoomQuake has stricken and shaken its way through the pagan lands of Laos, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia. I haven't seen footage of this on any of the news channels, but I trust my calculations and I trust the Lord. It is my fervent prayer that many of the people in those nations came to Him in time to be saved. If not...well, the Lord does what the Lord does.
I want to make something clear, because it's clear from the comments and emails that I'm getting that people misunderstand me. I am not gloating about these people suffering. I'm not. I hate to see people suffering and I wish to God they wouldn't. I feel joy and wonder in God's work, and I feel utter, indescribable joy in the knowledge that God's plan is being carried out as told in scripture and that I will be with Him soon.
By the same token, I will admit that I believe that these people deserve what they are getting. This is because we all deserve this same horrible fate. But such is God's mercy that we can all be saved by God's mercy (and by God's mercy alone), and He is merciful to them that accept Christ in their hearts. I do not rejoice in God's punishment, that isn't my place. I rejoice in His mercy.
On that note, it's 4AM here and I have much work left to do. I am going to get a few hours of sleep so that I can continue my work.
I want to make something clear, because it's clear from the comments and emails that I'm getting that people misunderstand me. I am not gloating about these people suffering. I'm not. I hate to see people suffering and I wish to God they wouldn't. I feel joy and wonder in God's work, and I feel utter, indescribable joy in the knowledge that God's plan is being carried out as told in scripture and that I will be with Him soon.
By the same token, I will admit that I believe that these people deserve what they are getting. This is because we all deserve this same horrible fate. But such is God's mercy that we can all be saved by God's mercy (and by God's mercy alone), and He is merciful to them that accept Christ in their hearts. I do not rejoice in God's punishment, that isn't my place. I rejoice in His mercy.
On that note, it's 4AM here and I have much work left to do. I am going to get a few hours of sleep so that I can continue my work.
DoomQuake hits China! (GMT+8)
And the rapture continues! The DoomQuake has just moved into the Western coast of Australia and into the Siberian heartland. More significantly, however, it is now striking the Eastern coast of China, which is fresh from being swept by the tsunamis generated so far. We're not hearing much out of the official channels in China, of course, because they can't acknowledge Christ's truth in a Communist nation, but I hold a thin, vain hope that I might hear from an English speaker in China who can tell me what's going on. The last I heard, Beijing was abuzz about the earthquakes that struck Japan, Australia and Russia, but my sources there were all American missionaries, and I stopped being able to hail them just before six Beijing time. I hope they were taken up, and that I will see them in the afterlife.
I'm a little saddened by this news because it means I won't be able to get more Apple products. But that's the least of our worries now.
As a side note, it is three in the morning and I'm starting to run out of steam. I will stay up as long as I can, but I make no promises.
I'm a little saddened by this news because it means I won't be able to get more Apple products. But that's the least of our worries now.
As a side note, it is three in the morning and I'm starting to run out of steam. I will stay up as long as I can, but I make no promises.
WOW JAPAN...WOW! (GMT+9)
I don't believe what I just saw. Right there on CNN as the tidal waves hit Tokyo and Mount Fuji erupted, a whole series of giant monsters rose from the sea, including something that looks a lot like Godzilla and something else that looks a lot like a cross between a giant octopus and H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu. The former creature stomped around Kyoto while the latter started tentacle raping virgins in Hiroshima. It's a fitting end for a nation that gave us Hentai and the Dramatic Hamster.
That's not all that's happening, of course, as the DoomQuake has now hit the middle of Australia and continues to roll through Russia. The DoomQuake should be taken very seriously, people. HAM radio is reporting that there isn't a single structure still standing in Vladivostok (GMT+11) or Sydney, as it was foretold. There are thousands of dead and missing.
Here in my neighborhood, it is two in the morning and nobody is sleeping. All the neighbors are out in the street, wondering what's happening, talking about the rapture, and many of them are praying, maybe for the first time. I truly hope they are sincere when they accept Christ into their hearts, and will join me in the Kingdom.
That's not all that's happening, of course, as the DoomQuake has now hit the middle of Australia and continues to roll through Russia. The DoomQuake should be taken very seriously, people. HAM radio is reporting that there isn't a single structure still standing in Vladivostok (GMT+11) or Sydney, as it was foretold. There are thousands of dead and missing.
Here in my neighborhood, it is two in the morning and nobody is sleeping. All the neighbors are out in the street, wondering what's happening, talking about the rapture, and many of them are praying, maybe for the first time. I truly hope they are sincere when they accept Christ into their hearts, and will join me in the Kingdom.
G'day Australia .. or maybe, NOT so G'day, eh? (GMT+10)
And right on cue, the Eastern half of the Australian continent is wracked with earthquakes as the coastal areas flood. Thousands of believers are being taken up, bodily, in Sydney as anyone can see from watching CNN's feed of the Australian Broadcasting Company broadcast. My back-of-the-envelope estimate is that those people are flying into the air at 80 miles per hour, and I'm hearing HAM radio reports that those believers who were taken up while indoors left behind considerable damage, puncturing ceilings and roofs on their way up. Kinda like this:
Let us all learn from Australia's lesson! When the rapture comes, STAND OUTSIDE! It's more compassionate to those who are left behind to not have to witness their friends and loved ones crashing through the ceiling. I also imagine that it hurts less.
Let us all learn from Australia's lesson! When the rapture comes, STAND OUTSIDE! It's more compassionate to those who are left behind to not have to witness their friends and loved ones crashing through the ceiling. I also imagine that it hurts less.
Looks like God is attempting another trick shot on Japan? (GMT+11) Also, a personal note
So, this is actually kinda interesting. Right now the DoomQuake is ringing Russia's bell, along with several Micronesian islands.. but take a look at the GMT+11 time zone. That sucker ends just north of Japan. If I'm guessing right, then the DoomQuake should be hitting Japan just as the tsunami is sweeping through their coastal areas, too. We'll know soon enough whether I'm right!
Also, just as a note to my friends and family: I have been inundated with phone calls, text messages, and emails from those of you who thought I was an idiot for quitting my job, living off of my savings, and spending all my spare money driving around in the Econoline van trying to warn people about this day. I can't respond to all of you right now because I'm busy trying to blog the rapture and spread the word, but please know this: I love you all, I am thinking of you too, and it is my sincere hope that you will accept Christ now and join me in His Kingdom.
Also, just as a note to my friends and family: I have been inundated with phone calls, text messages, and emails from those of you who thought I was an idiot for quitting my job, living off of my savings, and spending all my spare money driving around in the Econoline van trying to warn people about this day. I can't respond to all of you right now because I'm busy trying to blog the rapture and spread the word, but please know this: I love you all, I am thinking of you too, and it is my sincere hope that you will accept Christ now and join me in His Kingdom.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Rapture and DoomQuake hit Marshall Islands, Wake Island, Eastern Russia (GMT+12)
Okay, now we're cooking with gas! We have CNN, Russia Today, Al Jazeera, the BBC, and everybody else covering the rapture now -- even MSNBC stopped running episodes of Lockup -- just in time for the DoomQuake to hit the Asian mainland. Huge earthquakes have hit the easternmost areas of the Russian Far East and it looked like a stadium full of people doing The Wave, only it wasn't people doing it, it was the Earth itself. The HAM is also reporting major damage to the Marshall Islands and Wake Island. I can't help but grin like an idiot. Go God!
New Zealand - Chattam Islands - Praise the Lord! (GMT+12.45)
I can't believe my eyes! Even as CNN is showing the residents of the Chattam Islands fleeing the earthquakes and gigantic locusts, we saw before us the entire island miraculously turn into a ginormous kiwi fruit!
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
Kiribati and Tonga swallowed by Tsunamis Just as DoomQuake Hits (GMT+13)
You didn't see this on CNN, or at least I didn't, but HAM radio reports are saying that the remote South Pacific island nations of Tonga and Kiribati were swept up in a tsunami just as the DoomQuake hit and shattered them into fragments. Gotta love how God can get those trick shots!
Right on cue! Apocalypse starts at Christmas Island! (GMT+14)
As we all saw on CNN just now, right at 6PM Christmas Island time, two mighty angel's hands tore open a hole in the ocean, goatse style, and the Islands were swallowed into the sea! The rapture has started!
(If you don't know what goatse.cx was, click here for the Wikipedia article. I do not recommend looking at an archive of the original site, as this carries a risk of polluting the soul even as Judgement is upon us! However, if you must look, and you're sure you want to risk it, then click here, and DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.)
(If you don't know what goatse.cx was, click here for the Wikipedia article. I do not recommend looking at an archive of the original site, as this carries a risk of polluting the soul even as Judgement is upon us! However, if you must look, and you're sure you want to risk it, then click here, and DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.)
All set here
I have my cable turned on to CNN, my ham radio tuned in, and enough chips and Mountain Dew to keep up with events. I'm going to take a nap ... see you in three hours.
A quick note to unbelievers
I understand that some of you unbelievers are, or are planning, positioning clothes and shoes with dry ice in them to make it look like people have been enraptured.
It's not funny, so please stop it.
God bless,
The author.
It's not funny, so please stop it.
God bless,
The author.
Hello everyone
Hello fellow apocalypse fans! I, your author and fellow believer, have started this blog so that we can share the experience of the coming rapture. This post starts as an introduction, of sorts, and also as a warning to those readers who do NOT believe.
What is all this?
On May 21st, 2011, at about 6PM, the world is going to come to an end. The Faithful will be brought up into Heaven and join Jesus in the Kingdom of God, leaving the rest of humanity behind, as it was foretold.
Why May 21st, 2011?
Because it's 850 times 850 days after the Crucifixion of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It's all very scientific.
Okay. 6PM in what time zone?
We don't exactly know which time zone, but we assume that it will be 6PM in every time zone. That is to say, someone watching CNN at noon Central time will be able to witness the rapture as it happens in London at 6PM. Part of the purpose of this blog is to track events as the world undergoes judgment, hour by hour, starting at 6PM on May 21st in Christmas Island (GMT+14) and, thanks to the assistant of my unbelieving friend Howard in Alaska, ending at 6PM Baker Island time (GMT-12). All in all, the whole process should take 26 hours.
What will happen to the Faithful?
We who believe will be brought up bodily into Heaven, like Jesus was after his Resurrection, there to dwell in his grace for eternity. This will happen not because we deserve it -- we don't -- but because Christ died for our sins.
So..what if I don't believe? Will the world go on as before?
Not so fast, infidel. The Bible promises five months of tribulation -- 153 days, to be exact -- for those who are not taken up in the rapture.
If that's not enough to scare you, consider the economic effects of the faithful - approximately 200 million people, mostly Americans - just disappearing. After the post-rapture looting is done, the rest of you will be left to deal with a deep depression. But that will be the least of your problems, because the rapture will be started off with worldwide panic stemming from a rolling worldwide Apocalypse DoomQuake.
Don't take my word for it. Listen to what Harold Camping, founder of the Family Radio Network, has to say about it. It's very convincing.
If this isn't enough to convince you, then I don't know what will.
God bless,
The author
What is all this?
On May 21st, 2011, at about 6PM, the world is going to come to an end. The Faithful will be brought up into Heaven and join Jesus in the Kingdom of God, leaving the rest of humanity behind, as it was foretold.
Why May 21st, 2011?
Because it's 850 times 850 days after the Crucifixion of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It's all very scientific.
Okay. 6PM in what time zone?
We don't exactly know which time zone, but we assume that it will be 6PM in every time zone. That is to say, someone watching CNN at noon Central time will be able to witness the rapture as it happens in London at 6PM. Part of the purpose of this blog is to track events as the world undergoes judgment, hour by hour, starting at 6PM on May 21st in Christmas Island (GMT+14) and, thanks to the assistant of my unbelieving friend Howard in Alaska, ending at 6PM Baker Island time (GMT-12). All in all, the whole process should take 26 hours.
What will happen to the Faithful?
We who believe will be brought up bodily into Heaven, like Jesus was after his Resurrection, there to dwell in his grace for eternity. This will happen not because we deserve it -- we don't -- but because Christ died for our sins.
So..what if I don't believe? Will the world go on as before?
Not so fast, infidel. The Bible promises five months of tribulation -- 153 days, to be exact -- for those who are not taken up in the rapture.
And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. Revelation 9:5
If that's not enough to scare you, consider the economic effects of the faithful - approximately 200 million people, mostly Americans - just disappearing. After the post-rapture looting is done, the rest of you will be left to deal with a deep depression. But that will be the least of your problems, because the rapture will be started off with worldwide panic stemming from a rolling worldwide Apocalypse DoomQuake.
Don't take my word for it. Listen to what Harold Camping, founder of the Family Radio Network, has to say about it. It's very convincing.
If this isn't enough to convince you, then I don't know what will.
God bless,
The author
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